The Not So Normal Day
by HollowIsTheWorld
Summary: Life is unpredictable. One minute you're fighting a demon in a graveyard, the next you're waking up in the chambers of a medieval physician, talking to some guy who claims to be Merlin, and your old librarian is trying to have you executed.


I'm really starting to worry that I've got some sort of affliction that keeps me from writing anything that's not completely silly and random. But whatever, at least it's fun to write. This was written by me, mostly during my math class, and edited by **hotagainstawall**, who, aside from being a much more experienced fanfiction writer than me, is also my roommate. Anyway, enjoy!

* * *

The day had started off normally enough. Of course, days always do. If the day has started then it means you've woken up, which is very normal. Whether it takes five seconds or five hours for it all to fall apart is irrelevant; it always starts off normally.

But, back on topic. The day did start normally. Xander woke up, ate something that may or may not have counted as breakfast, went to work, went over to Buffy's for food that may or may not have counted as dinner, and went out on patrol with the rest of the Scoobies. That was when things started to get weird.

The demon was something none of them, not even Spike or Giles, could identify. It stood at about seven feet tall, hunched over. It had long, curved claws, like it was some sort of mutant giant cat, and it was red with dull gold horns.

Buffy, as usual, refused to wait for instructions or planning or any sort of regrouping or strategy making whatsoever and instead charged at the thing, stake in hand. Clearly, it never occurred to her that little pointed wooden sticks generally weren't super effective against non-vampire entities.

And as always, being the faithful white knight that he was, Xander charged in after her. The demon reached out, slashed at Buffy. She dodged, twisting away from the claws. It bellowed its anger and swung again. Buffy ducked away once more, but Xander was just a hairsbreadth too slow.

One claw caught his arm, just barely breaking the skin. The cut didn't even truly bleed. Still, there must have been some sort of toxin in the demon's cat claws because no sooner had Xander felt the cut then the graveyard around him began to swim. He fell, hitting the ground before he even knew that he was losing his balance.

Distantly, he could hear voices shouting something, but he couldn't tell what they were saying or who they belonged to. Xander shut his eyes and slipped into the beckoning darkness.

* * *

Wherever he was upon regaining consciousness, it wasn't very comfortable. Xander pushed himself up, fully intending to complain to Giles or Willow or whoever it was that had offered to be hospitable and tell them just what he thought about their lousy medical facilities. Spike's coffin was probably more comfortable.

Xander looked around and blinked a few times to clear his head. He didn't recognize this place. Which was odd, because Xander was pretty sure he should be capable of identifying all the place they used as temporary Scooby-gang make-shift hospitals by now. He was in a small, messy room, on a small, not-so-comfy bed. No phone or call button or even a bell in sight.

The door to the room opened and a young man, maybe Xander's age, with a mop of untidy black hair, bounded into the room. "Hey, you're awake!" he announced, beaming.

Normally, Xander would have replied with a smart-ass quip to an obvious statement like that, but the guy looked genuinely enthusiastic and pleased about Xander's return to the world of the living, and greatly resembled a big, bumbling puppy dog.

Xander found himself grinning in reply to this cheerful stranger. "Yeah, guess so. Ummm…" Now seemed as good a time as any to ask. "Where am I?"

"You're in the castle. Physician's chamber. I'm Merlin, by the way. I found you unconscious in the hallway and no one seemed to know who you were, so we brought you here. Not really sure why you were unconscious though. You don't seem hurt at all."

Xander nodded slowly, distantly aware of the fact that his mouth was hanging open as though he was some sort of goldfish. Castle? That really should have been the primary attention grabber from Merlin's explanation, but instead Xander said, "Hallway? Last I remember I was in a graveyard…"

Merlin's eyes grew wider and he tilted his head to one side. "Graveyard? Why were you in a graveyard?"

Xander shrugged. "The usual. Fighting demons, monsters from beyond, you know. Magic stuff." He grinned up at Merlin, expecting to get one in return, but instead Merlin's eyes had grown as big as saucers and his face had gone pale.

"Are you _mad_?"

"Mad? As in, crazy mad, or angry mad? Because, seriously, who uses mad as another word for crazy? You know, except for British people…" He realized what he was saying. "Wait, your accent… _You're_ British!"

Merlin just looked confused. "I'm what?"

"What do you mean, what?"

The two men stared at each other in mutual confusion for a few more moments, until the door opened again and a blond man dressed in a red tunic entered. "Honestly, Merlin. You were supposed to come get me when he woke up. My father wants to speak with him."

Merlin gave the newcomer a glare, but Xander could see that there was no real malice behind the action. "He only just woke up, Arthur."

Arthur didn't seem to care that Xander had only just awoken. He looked at him and gestured. "Come on." Confused, but hoping maybe Arthur's father would have some sort of answer for him, Xander obeyed.

Arthur led him down the hallways of what did, in fact, seem to be a medieval castle. Merlin was trotting alongside.

Xander was led into a long room with a throne at the end and sitting on the throne was… _Giles?_

"Giles? What's going on? Where are we?"

Giles frowned. Something about his appearance didn't look quite right but Xander couldn't quite put his finger on what it was.

"What are you talking about, boy?"

Xander looked around. There was no sign of Buffy or Willow or anyone else. He looked back to Giles. "Come on, G-Man. What's the deal? Did someone start a prank war? Did Willow magic up a castle for you?"

Giles stood, anger taking over his features. "Magic? Are you a sorcerer?"

"What? No. Come on, Giles, you know me. I just get doughnuts and get tossed around in graveyards. You and Willow do all the magic stuff."

"How dare you accuse me of practicing magic! Who is this Giles and Willow you speak of?"

Now Xander was getting wigged out. "Okay, never mind. You clearly don't know what I'm talking about." He started back up towards the door. "I'm just going to go, okay? See if I can find Buffy…" He turned and nearly went face first into a knight's chest.

"Arrest him!" Giles shouted. Xander whirled around and was stunned to see Giles pointing one finger at _him_.

Two guards grabbed and began hauling him away. "Wait, what? Giles, what's going on? Did Willow do another amnesia spell or something? Giles!"

Giles paid him no mind and Xander was pulled bodily out of the room.

They dragged Xander down into what was clearly the castle dungeon and tossed him into a cell. "Hey, what's the deal?" The knights ignored him. "You could at least tell me why I've been arrested!" The door shut behind him, leaving him alone with two bored looking guards.

Xander stared at them for several minutes to see if they would react. They didn't. They just sat there, playing some sort of dice game. "Will _you_ tell me why I'm in here."

"You're a sorcerer and have been sentenced to die," one guard told him flatly before rolling the die again.

Xander blinked. "Say what now? Sorcerer? Me? No way." They didn't respond. "I don't have magic! If I had magic I'd be long gone. Vamoose. See ya. Buh-bye."

The guards seemed disinterested in his defense argument. After a few more fruitless efforts to engage them in conversation, Xander gave up and took to observing the cell. After all, it wasn't everyday that one got to see the inside of a medieval dungeon cell.

However, after several hours had passed, the sun had gone down, and Xander's left leg had fallen asleep, any and all appeal held by the unusual circumstances had very much left.

The guards had switched out, but the two replacements were carbon copies of the first ones; same uniforms, same positions, same dice game. As Xander watched the die, seemingly of its own accord, leapt off the table and skittered off into the darkness down through the dungeons. The two guards looked after it in surprise for a moment, then scarpered after it. Xander stood, trying to keep them in sight. That was very odd.

Someone entered the dungeon. He came into the dim torchlight and Xander realized that it was Merlin. The man reached over and picked up the keys that the guards had left behind when they went off in quest of the dice.

Merlin approached the cell door and quickly unlocked it. "Come on, we have to hurry. That won't keep them busy for long."

Despite a burning to desire to ask what the _hell_ was going on, Xander followed Merlin out of the dungeon without protest. Merlin led him around, through passageways and up and down staircases. They reached a doorway just as a bell began ringing.

"Through here," Merlin whispered, opening the door. Go through there, across the passage, take a left, then go through that door. The tunnel will take you out to the forest. Hurry. I have to go, the prince will be shouting for me by now."

A thought hit Xander then, a thought so absurd, so ridiculously insane, that he couldn't believe he was even entertaining the idea. Nonetheless, he had to ask. "Arthur… he wouldn't be Prince Arthur Pendragon, would he?"

Merlin looked at him like he was either very insane or very stupid. "Yeah, that's him."

"And you… You're _Merlin!_"

Merlin pulled back a little bit. "You knew that already."

"Yeah, but I didn't think you were _the_ Merlin! The wizard Merlin! Oh, that is so cool!"

Merlin just stared at him and Xander realized that however right his guess, he still sounded like a blathering, mental idiot to Merlin.

"Never mind. But you're awesome. Really. Sword in the stone, uniting lands… Super cool." He ducked through the doorway. "Thanks for the help." He ran down the passage, very likely leaving a very confused Merlin standing in the hallway behind him. Oh, well.

Xander made it through the passageways perfectly fine, emerging into the woods without any problems whatsoever. Which was the point when he realized that just because he was now fairly certain he was in ancient Camelot didn't mean that he had any idea where he should go now.

He wandered somewhat aimlessly through the woods for awhile, thinking about how strange it was that Merlin was a young man instead of a kooky old guy with a long white beard and how bizarre it was that Giles looked just like the man who must have been Uther Pendragon.

As the sun began to sneak over the tops of the trees, Xander suddenly grew very tired. He thought about lying down to get some sleep, but before he could act on it his legs gave out on him and he collapsed onto the ground.

* * *

He opened his eyes to find himself back in Sunnydale Cemetery, lying on the ground, concerned faces all around. Well, except for Spike. He was smoking a cigarette a few feet away looking as disinterested as ever.

"What happened?"

"You must have passed out," Willow told him. "We killed the demon, and when we looked around you were unconscious."

"Really? How long was I out?"

"Only a few moments," Giles informed him, pulling off his glasses to clean them, a gesture that Xander identified as relief.

_'Only a few moments?'_ Xander considered telling them what had happened, something undoubtedly caused by the demon scratching him, but decided they'd probably just tell him he'd had a hallucination or some sort of super vivid dream when he lost consciousness. But still…

"Hey, Giles?" he asked.

"Hmm?"

"Were you a medieval king in a past life, by any chance?"

Giles looked at him as though he'd lost his mind. "A past life? Xander are you feeling alright?"

"Yeah, never mind."

* * *

Review?


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